I've always been surprised to hear men talk about how drawn they are to fat-bottomed girls. Having been one for the majority of my life, I personally find big bums to be a serious pain in the you-know-what (no pun intended). 

I've been told that the voluptuous size of my derriere is a result of the Harrison family curse (or blessing to those who don't suffer from this genetic mutation). Many of my relatives suffer from this disease of the gutes (although my sisters seem to have some kind of super-gene that has definitely protected them from far). Because of this,  I have been well endowed with more than enough "junk" in my so called "trunk".
When I lost 30 pounds last year, I was so happy to have finally conquered my buttocks. My sister had even commented that they had become significantly smaller (after she awkwardly grabbed me from behind). As soon as I began to binge eat, all of my weight slowly migrated down past my hips to that dreaded area of my body.
I'm sure hundreds of girls can only wish to have those unwanted curves that I happen to have, but it's always embarrassing to realize that your rear end might possibly have its own gravitational pull and that others have to clear a path for you to get by in cramped spaces.
(Nothing is as uncomfortable as grazing a stranger in the hallway)
However, the embarrassment is always worse when someone else points out your flaws.

Last week at my team's first soccer game of the season, we had the privilege of playing a super classless team from Park City. Aside from the fact that one of their players started a fight on the field with one of our players, the entire team used offensive language as a tool to intimidate us throughout the game.
About halfway through the game, I was running towards the ball and heard footsteps beside me. As I turned to check out my competition, I heard the remark, "Move out of the way big a**!" Obviously, she was hoping I didn't hear what she said because when she turned around to double check, her face looked shocked when she noted my extremely offended reaction.

I'm not going to lie, it definitely was a major blow to my self-esteem.

I hate the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".
  1. Bones heal, no biggie, you might have a scar or two but thats about it.
  2. Harsh words never leave you and keep resurfacing for the rest of your life.
You decide, which is worse?

I feel like a more appropriate saying would be:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones (that will heal with medical attention), but your words will always hurt me"

Last soccer season
Note my incredibly small bum...
and  chiseled thighs.

I understand that she had no idea of my current situation or my already extreme insecurities about my body, I don't hold what she said against her at all (even though it was totally inappropriate to say that to anyone). I just can't get over the fact that I wasn't the only one that noticed my growing booty.
I couldn't help but wonder if anyone else had thought of what she was so bold to say.

My eating has been getting better and I've shrunk down my binges lately. I'm finally grasping the connection between my blood sugar levels and my cravings, preventing many binges that could have set me back even further. I feel like I'm fighting against a double edged sword sometimes. Diabetes complicates my recovery in more ways than I can even begin to explain.

A big bum is just a small part of my problem now. I have more important issues to tackle first (like that girl from Park City). I just hope that one day I'll finally be able to lift this family curse from myself...permanently.

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