I figured I might as well show you where I'm coming from with some visuals.
(Pretty techy, eh?)
This was me in October, at 129 lbs. and feeling the best that I've ever felt in my life.

What I considered my "happy" weight....I'm not going to lie, I looked good!

Me and my Mom before Homecoming (October 2011)

This is me now, 30 lbs. heavier.

Actually, this was more like 20 pounds heavier...I haven't taken any pictures of myself since
 this one was shot at Benny's birthday party a few months ago.

As nice as it would be to go back to 129 lbs., right now I'm aiming for 140 lbs. Today was actually a really good day for me with eating and life in general. I don't really know what happened that was different than anything else I've done in the past. For starters, I didn't feel like I was going to starve after school and at school, which was incredible! I felt as close to normal as I possibly could have been at this moment in time. I also had soccer practice tonight which helped me get out of the house and burn off some of those nasty, unwanted cals. I hope tomorrow will be just as amazing as today was!
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!

Last night I made cookie-dough brownies for K's birthday (it's a tradition I started with my friends...and also a contributor to my downfall...I don't recommend baking anything AT ALL unless you absolutely have to, it's just one more temptation and one more unnecessary problem) but I actually refrained myself from bingeing on the desserts. I had some leftovers that I refrigerated for my family to try and took them out after school to get rid of those tasty seductresses officially before l lost my newly found control. My brother had tried some and when my Mom came into the kitchen she noticed that some were missing from the container. She immediately assumed that I had another binge session and she was completely justified based on my past behavior with sweets. Luckily, I was able to say (proudly) that I hadn't had a single brownie (although I did have a taste of one just to get the craving out of the way before it got out of hand). It felt incredible to have firstly, not lied to her (another nasty side-effect of bingeing) and secondly, I had no reason to be ashamed of myself (I can't begin to say how long its been since I havent been upset with my actions). I guess I really am making progress. Wow!

1 comment

  1. What great progress you are making. Keep up the good work!