Tips

I recently had a friend reach out to me and ask me what I've done to learn to love my body and heal from the negative feelings that I used to have about myself (and sometimes still do). After talking to her, I thought it would be a good idea to share what I shared with her here on the blog in the hope that it could help anyone else out there who might also be struggling with the same issues. Although I still have bad days where it seems impossible to love myself, these practices have helped me get to where I am today and have also helped me recover from a lot of my disordered thoughts too. 

Consistently and constantly challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself.

One way that I've been able to do this is by immediately countering any negative thoughts that I have about myself with positive thoughts in their place—even if I don’t believe what I’m telling myself in that moment. I’ve noticed that the more often I've treated and spoken to myself kindly (even if it feels feigned and unnatural during hard moments), the more second-nature that kindness becomes. There have even been times where I've had to sit myself in front of a mirror and tell myself, “I am beautiful” over and over again just so I could see myself saying it and have the message sink in. Growing up, my mom always told me that if you, “Do the action, the feeling will follow”, and I think that’s definitely true in this case. The more I have sincerely told myself that I am beautiful as I am, the more I believe it. Practice makes perfect!

When you have a negative thought about yourself, picture yourself saying that same comment to someone you love, like a friend, a sibling, a parent, or a spouse.

The idea behind this is that if you wouldn’t say it to someone you care about, you should never say it to yourself. I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that the person we should care about and love the most is ourselves. Always be your own best friend. 

I'm so sad that summer is almost over! Luckily, Justin and I have
gotten to go on a couple of adventures though :)

Give yourself pep-talks and reality checks whenever you think negatively about your appearance.

Make sure that you don’t hold yourself to unrealistic expectations. Flaws are normal and natural—they’re human! What isn’t normal and natural though, are the perfect images of people that we see on social media accounts, on fashion blogs, on magazine covers, and on the red carpet. Everyone has fat, everyone has wrinkles, and everyone has imperfections. Don't forget that imperfections and beauty are not mutually exclusive. You are not less of a person or of less worth because you aren’t a certain size, weight, race, height, or any other superficial measure of your appearance. You are yourself, you are enough, and regardless of how you look, you are beautiful. 

Focus on all that your body is and can do, not what it is not and cannot.

Whenever I feel like my body is inadequate, I try focus on all the positive things that my body is and can do. It is strong, it is healthy, it is special, it is mine. Yes, my thighs are big, but they are strong. Yes, my skin has a few zits, but I love the dimples around my lips when I smile. Yes, I have a round tummy, but it’s cute and keeps me warm. If there are certain areas of your body that you dislike, find things that you do like and appreciate about them and repeat those things to yourself whenever you need a self-esteem pick-me-up. You could even make those statements in to a daily mantra that you tell yourself too! Be proud of your body and give yourself compliments wherever and whenever you can--especially to the areas of your body that you struggle the most with. They need love too! 

Avoid making comparisons to those around you.

Tell yourself: "My body is my body and I cannot expect myself to look like someone else. I may look different than those around me, but that does not mean that I am ugly or less beautiful. Someone else’s beauty does not detract from my own." Beauty is more than just your appearance, it is who you are as person, how you treat those around you, your uniqueness, and the impact that you leave on the world. Existing as a woman is not a competition, but when we treat life as such, no one wins. When you spend time developing a love and appreciation for yourself, you begin to develop a relationship with your body that is priceless and impossible to achieve otherwise.

Go outside of your comfort zone. 

If you don't like the way you look in a swimsuit, go swimming. If you hate the way that you look in pictures, put yourself in as many pictures as possible AND let yourself be tagged in them on social media (which is sometimes even harder than having a picture taken of yourself in the first place). If you don't feel comfortable without makeup on, go a couple of days without it. Pushing the boundaries of your self-esteem can help you become more comfortable with and accepting of yourself. I think sometimes we project how we feel about ourselves onto others and assume that they judge our appearances more than they actually do. Most of the time, we're our own worst judges and are more critical of ourselves than anyone around us ever will be. When we let our hate, our fears, and our insecurities related to our bodies rule our actions, we miss out on life and unintentionally persuade ourselves that our lives are not worth living (or enjoying) if we aren't perfect. Ultimately, we tend to base our self-esteem on superficial factors and situations, rather than on an unconditional love of ourselves.

Surround yourself with body-positive people. 

One of the best ways you can do this is to follow body-positive accounts on social media and actively look for the stories and experiences of other individuals who are fighting (or have fought) to love themselves. Create a support group for yourself and make sure that you choose to be around those who build you up, rather than those who tear you down or belittle you (that also includes following Instagram accounts that make you feel bad about yourself too). I would even say that you could extend that same rule to yourself too. Make sure to be patient and kind to yourself so that you don't undermine your hard work! Also make sure to ignore the haters and listen to those who truly love you and accept you without strings or expectations attached. You are deserving of love at any weight and in any condition. Don't settle for those who treat you any less than you deserve! Lean on those who are further along than you are and believe that one day you can get to where they are. And, if you aren't in a place where you can believe in yourself, lean on my belief in you.

Learning to love myself has been one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done, but it has definitely been worth it. (And, it does get easier the longer you keep at it) 😊 

You can do it! 

Photographs

Although I've made a lot of progress on my journey to love my body and who I am post-eating disorders, earlier this year I realized that I still have a long way to go before being completely comfortable with myself in every regard.While I'm usually fine with looking at myself in the mirror and liking what I see, I still cringe whenever I see an unattractive picture of myself (granted, I usually think every picture of me is unattractive unless it's carefully posed and edited--something that I think is more common than not within groups of women). Up until a few months ago, I would even go as far as to untag myself from and hide pictures of myself that I didn't like from my Facebook timeline. Because of this, dating a photographer whose favorite subject to photograph is you, can kind of be problematic.

After our first couple of months dating, Justin started to bring his camera on our dates and to be honest, I hated the pictures he took of me. Even worse, he would publish them on Facebook for everyone to see--whether I liked how I looked or not (he actually didn't know how much I was struggling with this until a few weeks ago when I started conceptualizing this post). Although I didn't ever stop him from posting photos of me, I made sure that only the ones I could tolerate showed up on my social media timeline. I was also quick to pick apart why I didn't like the photos, despite all the compliments and reassurance he would give me (I'm pretty sure it's human nature to be your own worst critic). I think it's usually easier for us to find things we don't like about ourselves than things we do--especially in photos. Maybe it's the concrete nature of having a picture taken of you that incites personal critique. As in, once a photo is taken, it can't be taken back. And even more so, once a photo is posted online, it can't be unseen. I think there's also a fear of once you see an unattractive picture of yourself, you become afraid of that potentially being how people see you in everyday life. It's kind of comparable to hearing your voice on a recording and asking yourself: "Do I really sound like that?"

One of the most frustrating parts about Justin taking pictures of me back then was that whenever I didn't like a picture, he couldn't see why I didn't like it. We used to joke that it was because he was biased, but after months of Justin taking pictures of me and having the time to reflect on my negative thoughts, I realize now that there wasn't anything bad with the pictures themselves. In fact, there has never been anything wrong with pictures of myself that I haven't liked or thought were ugly. What was wrong though, was how poorly I was willing to treat myself just because I didn't look the way I wanted to or thought I should. The more I've thought about this, the more I've realized how common of an experience this is for women collectively. We've all asked someone to re-take our picture because we didn't like the first one. We've all taken what feels like a million selfies just so we can get the perfect angle or lighting. We've all tried to use a filter to take away our blemishes or to distract from features we don't like on ourselves. And, we've all looked at a photo of ourselves and desperately asked: "Do I really look like that?"

Over the past couple of months, I've tried to make a consistent effort to question and counter any the typical negativity I experience when I look at a picture of myself that isn't necessarily attractive. And I'll be honest, it's been way harder than I ever could have anticipated. Not only is doing this an attempt to overcome your thoughts, but also your emotions as well. I think as women, we're taught to focus our efforts regarding our worth and self-esteem upon our appearance. By doing this, we place unrealistic expectations upon ourselves to the extent that (at least in my case) when we see a "bad" picture of ourselves, we immediately feel ashamed and embarrassed—almost as if it's a direct blow to who we are as a person (something which is entirely untrue).

Believe it or not, over time I’ve actually found that the “bad” and unattractive pictures of me have their own beauty to them. They show me as a living, breathing, and feeling being. They feature me in all my imperfect, but authentic glory. By embracing photos of me that I would have initially perceived as unattractive in the past, I’ve gotten to see myself with new eyes while also finding a new sense of freedom. I’m no longer afraid that my carefully crafted image of myself and self-esteem are going to crumble as soon as someone posts a picture of me that I don’t like. When I look at a picture now, I see myself first and my imperfections second--instead of the other way around. There really isn't such a thing as"unattractive" pictures, but there is such a thing as having an unattractive outlook on yourself. Pictures are just pictures. In a sense, they're neutral until we assign subjective meanings to them.

We aren't always going to look selfie-ready and that's okay. Photos are meant for capturing memories, not negativity over how we look. Looking at some of the pictures that Justin took of me is almost a bittersweet experience for this reason. In some of the photos, I was so preoccupied with how I looked that it took away from the actual moment that was being captured. Luckily, I realized all of this before Justin and I took our wedding photos. Had I not done this, I think the same thing would have happened with those photos too. However, because of my actions I'm able to look back at our photos and remember how happy I was rather than how preoccupied I was with how the photos were going to turn out or how I was going to look in the photos.  

Although it still takes conscious effort to remind myself that unattractive pictures are just pictures, at least now I know that there is so much more to who I am than what a camera lens captures me as. A camera can never capture how compassionate you are; how intelligent you are; or how talented you are. It can never capture the lives you’ve touched for the better, the challenges you’ve faced, or how intrinsically important you are. 

Pictures capture us in a moment of time whether we're ready or not,  

And I for one want to make sure that I remember that moment as a good one regardless.

Dear Nicole Arbour,

I'm sure most of you have either heard of or seen the video that YouTube "comedian", Nicole Arbour, posted this week.

If you haven't, here it is (*trigger warning*):

When she was called out and temporarily banned on YouTube for this video, she responded on Twitter by saying:

“Wow, I'm the first comedian in the history of @YouTube to be #censored There are graphic videos about murder and torture, but satire is."

Yeah.
Wow.

I don't know about anyone else, but I was only able to get through the first three minutes of this video before turning it off.

Before I get any further into this post, I want to establish that this video is not satire. If you're making someone or an aspect of someone that they can't necessarily change the brunt of a joke, it isn't humor. If you're laughing at someone else's expense--it's bullying (intentional or not).

No one has the right to criticize, laugh at, or make generalizations about another person's body.
We're all fighting battles that no one but ourselves can see.

Additionally, words and actions--even those which are intended to be "satirical", always have consequences beyond their original intentions.

When I was in high school, I played on a competition soccer team before and during my eating disorders. While I was experiencing my binge eating disorder (and while at my highest weight), I can remember struggling to get my jersey and soccer shorts on my body--since I had bought them when I was anorexic, for games and practices. Because my thighs touched (I also want to clarify that having thighs that touch is not a bad thing), my shorts which were already too small would get stuck between my legs as I walked or ran. Not only was it uncomfortable, it was embarrassing.

It was a constant reminder of my weight.

One day at practice, one of my teammates noticed my shorts getting caught between my thighs as we walked off the field for a water break.

With other teammates around her, she stopped me, pointed my shorts and said:

"Hey Alyson, is your crotch hungry? Because it's eating your shorts!"

As everyone around her laughed, I fought back tears and tried to laugh along.

Although she thought what she said was funny, I went home and cried afterwards.

Then I binged,
purged,

And hated myself even more than I already did.

I'm sure that she didn't realize how little control I had over my body size at that time or even the extent to which her words hurt me.

She didn't know how humiliated I was about the fit of my uniform on my now bigger body.
She didn't know that I would gorge myself multiple times a day until my stomach couldn't take it anymore, in order to forget how much I loathed how I looked.
She didn't know that I was on the brink of an emotional breakdown.

But, she did know that I was fat.

Although I haven't experienced fat-shaming to the extent that I know others have, I know that fat-shaming is a real thing. I've also noticed that those who tend to say it doesn't exist are usually the same people that have never been a victim of it.

They haven't gone home crying after having their weight made fun of at school.
They haven't had to worry about exercising or eating in public.
They haven't been labeled as a fat person, rather than just a person.

Fat-shaming is a prevalent aspect of our culture.
And contrary to what Nicole Arbour thinks, there is no such thing as "good" fat-shaming.

Fat-shaming doesn't "help" anyone; it usually makes things worse for those dealing with weight issues by intensifying "bad habits" and shattering already fragile self-esteem.

Or, it can cause people to lose weight through desperate and unhealthy means (eating disorders) because they've been told to hate their bodies.

It's also important to note that societal perceptions of health aren't always healthy either.

Why are we so quick to condemn those who are fat and praise those who are skinny, when being skinny can be just as harmful and deadly (if not more so--trust me, I know) as being fat?

Being overweight isn't healthy, but that doesn't mean that it isn't okay to be overweight.
You are not less of a person if you have fat on your body.
And you are not joke or something to be satirized.

We are all entitled to respect and happiness regardless of our weight; fat does not eliminate a person's humanity--even if you're included in the "35% of Americans that are OBESE".

Yes, we all are given one body; but your body doesn't have to be perfect in order for you to appreciate it.

Body positivity isn't about loving being fat or loving having fat, it's loving who you are regardless of fat, disabilities, or whatever traditional beauty standards state.

It's about not taking your body for granted by letting the opinions of those around dictate your perception of yourself and your self-worth.


There are so many more things I could say in response to this video, but I probably should end this post here before I say something I regret.


I don't know if there's a solution to end fat-shaming, but I think that having a greater degree of sensitivity and acceptance towards others is a good place to start.


And as for Nicole Arbour and those who agree with her,

Ignore them.
They're a joke.

Dots

During the last week of July, my family and I went to Bryce Canyon as our summer vacation. While I was packing for the trip, I grabbed my "I am beautiful" t-shirt thinking that this would be a great opportunity to promote the blog and to wear the shirt out in the real-world for photos that I could use in a future blog post.

However, when we got to the park my plan went totally out the window.

Why?

Reason 1-I wore the shirt once and immediately took it off (I'll explain later--also, light grey is super unforgiving when it comes to sweat marks).
Reason 2-Most of the tourists at Bryce Canyon that weekend were native French-speakers.

Oops.

Anyways, at the entrance to Bryce Canyon, there's a huge sign that has the park's name on it and as tradition dictates, a lot of visitors (including my family) stop to take photos of themselves in front of the sign before entering the park itself (there's even a column a few feet in front of the sign that was made to put cameras on for optimal photo-taking).

I had brought the shirt with me in my backpack so I could change into it for pictures since I would look like a sweaty mess if I chose to wear it for both pictures and hiking in hot weather (I found this out the hard way after wearing the shirt while sitting through a two hour "rodeo" the day before). So, I decided that the most practical spot to take a picture in the shirt would be in front of the sign rather than inside the actual park itself, so once we got out of our car I asked my sister to take a couple of pictures of me.

Long story short, although I felt great while taking the pictures, I hated how I looked in all of them afterwards.

My stomach showed.
My arms looked too big.
My thighs were touching.
My body looked wider than normal.

I obsessed over how I could have made myself look better or how I could have hid myself more.

I shouldn't have tucked in my shirt.
I should have put my arm on my other hip.
I should have angled myself differently.
I should have worn longer pants.

When I realized that those thoughts wouldn't change what happened, I tried to find ways to "salvage" the photos--and my self-esteem.

So,

I deleted.
I cropped.
I filtered.

No matter what I did, I still hated how I looked.
(Which was ironic, given the shirt that I was wearing)

I allowed negative thoughts and embarrassment about my appearance to consume the rest of my day.

Despite the eating disorders that I've been through and the steps towards self-acceptance that I've made, I'm always surprised by how easily and how often I fall back into old habits of criticizing my body.

During one of my first visits to my eating disorder doctor, Michael Spigarelli, he showed me a piece of paper that looked like this:

What do you see?

When he asked me this question, I responded that I saw a dot. He then asked me if I saw anything else and I told him that I didn't. Dr. Spigarelli went on to explain to me that by only focusing on the dot, I had forgotten to notice the rest of the paper.

How often do we allow ourselves to lose sight of the whole picture by only focusing on the "dots" that are in our lives?

And concerning my situation, how often do we allow ourselves to lose sight of our personal worth by only focusing on the "dots" or "flaws" (which really aren't flaws, but just warped personal opinions) that occur on our bodies?

We all have "dots" on us, but I think it's time for us to embrace our bodies holistically instead of obsessing over what we deem to be our "trouble areas".

Just like there was more to that piece of paper than the dot, there is more to each of us than what we perceive to be our flaws.

Our bodies aren't something to hide, crop, angle, or filter, they are perfect the way they are.

We are the sum of our parts, not the parts themselves.

It's taken me a month to figure out what I've wanted to say in this post. Since the trip to Bryce Canyon, there have been other instances where I've second-guessed my self-esteem or complained about my body. I've had the photos taken at Bryce Canyon hidden in my phone and I've avoided looking at them out of fear.

Luckily, I realize now that how I appear on film or even how I appear in general are the least important things about who I am as a person.

We all struggle with insecurities, but we need to remind ourselves that they are just a small aspect of our lives. And in my case, there was more to that trip than the photos of me that were taken there and there is more to me than those photos.

After all, a piece of paper is more than the dots that are drawn on it.

You know, I actually don't have a problem with 
this picture anymore, I love how happy I look! 

We are Beautiful

A couple of weeks ago, I announced that I was officially going to start selling the t-shirt I designed for this blog online. Thanks to all of your support, we've been able to spread body positivity one shirt at a time!

They all look different, but you can't deny how beautiful each of
these ladies are. 

I've said this before, but I firmly believe that beauty is intrinsic in all of us. Additionally, we tend to interchangeably associate attraction and beauty when they're really two totally different things.  

Beauty standards are ridiculous. They basically try to apply a "one-size-fits-all" approach to how all women see themselves. In reality, we come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. The way we look is like a genetic raffle--a once in a lifetime chance occurrence (well, technically each person is supposed have like 7 doppelgangers in the world--but even in that case, they probably wouldn't have the same mole that you have on your right foot or the same crease between your eyebrows that shows up when you sneeze...but this is beside the point.). It's also important to note that with all the possible combinations of genes in the world, it's physically impossible for all of us to naturally be what we see on the cover of magazines. 

So, why is it that we feel like all women have to look the same when diversity is in our very nature?

Why do we gamble so much of our self-worth on looking a certain way?

Theodore Roosevelt once said that, "Comparison is the thief of joy".

And I completely agree.

I don't know about anyone else, but in the past (especially during my eating disorders), I caught myself comparing my body to those of my sisters, my friends, my peers, and even strangers. For years, I not only hated myself for not matching up to them, but I also hated them based solely on the fact that they met standards I couldn't. 

I found validation for my own feelings of self-worth and beauty when I looked better than or just as good as those around me; and when I didn't, I felt worthless. In a sense, it felt like in order to gain the title of "beautiful", I had to either strip it away from someone else or risk having it taken from me. 

I think in order to feel better about ourselves, we need to think better of those around us. We need to actively stop our own thoughts of judgement (which later affect how we judge ourselves) that cross our minds when we see someone's body. Judgement, beauty standards, and body shame create a toxic environment where no one wins.

Womanhood should not be competition.

Every body is a good body.

Society teaches women that their worth and beauty are directly derived from their physical appearance. Not from who they are as living, thinking, and feeling individuals. 

Beauty has nothing to do with appearance and it doesn't have prerequisites.

You don't have to look like Cara Delevigne, Beyonce, your best friend, your cousin, or your sister to be beautiful.

Just be you.
Because you are enough.

And you are beautiful.

(~If you're interested in buying a shirt, click the shop link on the top or side navigation bar~)

I Am Beautiful.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to look for a shirt that had a body-positive quote on it to wear around campus and to promote this blog. However, despite my best efforts to find one, there were literally none to be found on any website or search engine online. Slightly bitter, I decided to take matters into my own hands and designed a shirt myself. I wanted something that not only looked cool, but that also caused me to feel good about myself--I wanted it to say what I believed in the simplest and loudest way possible.

Anyways, after about a week of going through what felt like hundreds of rough drafts on Photoshop (and harassing my friends and family members for their input), I was able to decide on my final design:

 

"I am beautiful."

Is it vain? No.
Is it empowering? Definitely.

Considering the journey that I've taken over the last five years, wearing this shirt in public is a mile-marker for me. When I was going through my eating disorders, I would have never identified myself as being beautiful; I hated every pound of my body, every glance in the mirror, every aspect of my being. I thought being beautiful only applied to the girls who were, well, beautiful. It seemed like a title earned only by the select few who happened to look the part (skinny, curvy, athletic, stylish, etc).

As I've gotten older, overcome my eating disorders, and moved on from the social pressures of high school, I realize that being beautiful and being attractive are two totally different things. Beauty isn't something that you can find by going to the gym, dieting, or throwing up in a toilet bowl (despite what society may tell us). Those habits usually stem from self-loathing and the act of securing your self-esteem by constantly manipulating your appearance to favor the ever-changing preferences of the world. Believing that you're beautiful occurs when your overlook your appearance and allow your self-esteem to be anchored by your own opinion of yourself.

Being beautiful isn't determined by how we look, being beautiful is a part of who we are; it's intrinsic to every individual.


I've always thought that it's funny how we're so quick to find beautiful things in other people, but so slow and stubborn when it comes to finding beauty in ourselves. Maybe it's because we live in a world where we're constantly told how inadequate we are and that we can never be beautiful on our own; there's always a new product, a new diet, or a new workout DVD that can make us "better".

As a result, we tend to apologize for our bodies, rather than applaud them.

Society would like to have us think that a "normal" or "ideal" woman is thin, non-handicapped, young, attractive, and fit. But let's be honest, out of the millions of women who live in this world, how many would actually meet these requirements?

If beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, shouldn't we work harder to see the value within ourselves rather than placing our value in the hands of others?

By proudly acknowledging that we are beautiful, we not only challenge the ridiculous standards of the world, we overcome them. We become liberated and powerful; a force to be reckoned with. A source for change.

I've found that as I've come to accept myself as beautiful, I've been able to love my body despite how I may look or what state I may be in. I've stopped comparing myself to those around me and stopped seeing myself as a contestant in a competition or an object under scrutiny. I judge less, and as a result, I see more.

Like dominoes, my health, self-esteem, and body image have fallen into place thanks to the simple act of seeing myself as something of value. Now I know that trends and cultural standards always change, but my worth as an individual will always stay the same.

Associating yourself with beauty isn't vain or prideful, it's a sign of confidence and self-esteem.
It's loving and accepting yourself on your own terms, in your own ways.
It's a badge of courage.
It's a conscious decision and a never-ending uphill battle.

Although I still might not be consistent in associating positive thoughts towards my body, I finally appreciate it for all that it is (and isn't).

My body may not fit the current textbook definition of beauty, but I am beautiful.

Why?

Because I think so.
And that's all that matters.

(If you're interested in buying a shirt like mine, contact me [Instagram, Facebook, email, etc] or let me know in the comments below. If at least 20 people sign up for one, it will only cost about $15 per shirt instead of the $30 that mine cost. Once that happens, I can open a store on the blog and we can move on from there! Thanks!)

UPDATE: The shop for the shirts is now open! See the top navigation menu above for the link!

Fail System

Last Sunday, I was able to attend church with my family since I had the day off from my usual Aspen Grove responsibilities. While there, I was able to listen to a friend speak about her experiences overcoming military fitness and physical criteria tests. She stated that, "...(the tests) are a fail system...especially for women with real bodies." As I listened to her continue her story, I began to think about the times when I felt frustrated with my body due to the  societal "fail system" that we constantly subject ourselves to.

It has taken me years to realize that I'm not the problem, society is.
..................................................................................................................................................................

Did you know that the U.S. weight loss market was worth $61 billion 2010 or that gym, health, and fitness clubs are currently worth $27 billion?

Apparently, making people feel inadequate is a lucrative industry.

Here are some statistics from NEDA:

1. 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner.

2. In elementary school fewer than 25% of girls diet regularly. Yet those who do know what dieting involves and can talk about calorie restriction and food choices for weight loss fairly effectively.

3. 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.

4. 46% of 9-11 year-olds are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets, and 82% of their families are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets.

5. Over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.

6. 35-57% of adolescent girls engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting, diet pills, or laxatives. Overweight girls are more likely than normal weight girls to engage in such extreme dieting.

7. Even among clearly non-overweight girls, over 1/3 report dieting (Wertheim et al., 2009).

Girls who diet frequently are 12 times as likely to binge as girls who don’t diet.

8. The average American woman is 5’4” tall and weighs 165 pounds. The average Miss America winner is 5’7” and weighs 121 pounds.

9. The average BMI of Miss America winners has decreased from around 22 in the 1920s to 16.9 in the 2000s. The World Health Organization classifies a normal BMI as falling between 18.5 and 24.9.

10. 95% of all dieters will regain their lost weight in 1-5 years.



"Biggest Loser" contestant, Ali Vincent.
 “After I won ‘The Biggest Loser,’ I weighed 122 pounds for about 2.2 seconds,” she said.
“It’s been five years since I won and I’ve seen myself gain at least five pounds a year.”

11. 35% of “normal dieters” progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20-25% progress to partial or full-syndrome eating disorders.

12. Of American, elementary school girls who read magazines, 69% say that the pictures influence their concept of the ideal body shape. 47% say the pictures make them want to lose weight.

......................................................................................................................................................................

When I started writing this post two hours ago, I had no idea that I would end up going in this direction. Maybe I researched this information for selfish reasons. But then again, it's always good to be reminded of reality rather than the fantasy that is forced down our throats on a daily basis.  I've decided that society constantly seeks to make the 1% seem like the majority in order to take advantage of the remaining 99%.

I wonder what the first step would be to changing a thought process that is so engrained into the modern human psyche... How is it that we can prevent future generations from feeling the pain of our own? How can we beat the "fail system" that has permeated into almost every aspect of our daily lives?

Honestly, I have no idea.

I guess a good start would be to become the change that we want to see in the world through loving ourselves and accepting that our best will always be good enough.

We need to stop fearing numbers, and start living life.

Ultimately, we need to adjust how we see the world (and ourselves) in order to make it a better one.   

Social Media Rant

It's 1:43am and I'm definitely not asleep like I was planning on being three hours ago...
C'est la vie?

I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like whenever I get on social media sites like Facebook, Pinterest, and YouTube I always come across posts about weight loss, fitness, and health. Although these can all be good things, what bothers me the most is that girls and women are constantly being fed thoughts that they aren't good enough through the influence of their peers and media. Personally, I know that whenever I see these posts negative thoughts start to stream through my consciousness as I critique and compare my appearance to that of others--it's self defeating,  like a form of  bullying.

Society criticizing the monster it created--
the irony is unbearable. 

http://articles.latimes.com/2014/feb/05/entertainment/la-et-st-biggest-loser-rachel-frederickson-too-skinny-20140205

  

                                                                                           
A few months ago I saw my younger cousin post some weight-loss pins on Pinterest. As they appeared on my screen it was hard for me to resist the urge to throw my keyboard in the air out of sheer frustration. I was upset by the fact that she thought she needed to become even smaller than the >110 lbs. that she already was.

 As I sat in my chair, stewing, I felt a knot form in my stomach as realized why I was angry with her and the world in general: I saw myself in her thought process.

When I was dieting, I lost about 40 lbs. and went from being a size 12 to a size 2/4 in three months. Even when I had pushed my natural body to it's limit I was never satisfied with myself. I wasn't small enough, the fat on my body was always too much, and I could always manage to lose a few more pounds.

I desperately wanted to look like the thin women I saw around me.
But I realized too late that "skinny" is a lie.

Lately I've been wondering if the need to be thin is an innate characteristic in females or a result of expectations placed above our heads for generations. Why do we feel the need to diet? Do we like the aspect of control that it gives us over our physical selves? Is it a competitive stigma that we feel the desperate need to take part in? Is it Darwinism, a literal translation of survival of the fittest?

Why is it that more women seem to fear gaining weight than death itself?

Any thoughts?