Social Media Rant

It's 1:43am and I'm definitely not asleep like I was planning on being three hours ago...
C'est la vie?

I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like whenever I get on social media sites like Facebook, Pinterest, and YouTube I always come across posts about weight loss, fitness, and health. Although these can all be good things, what bothers me the most is that girls and women are constantly being fed thoughts that they aren't good enough through the influence of their peers and media. Personally, I know that whenever I see these posts negative thoughts start to stream through my consciousness as I critique and compare my appearance to that of others--it's self defeating,  like a form of  bullying.

Society criticizing the monster it created--
the irony is unbearable. 

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A few months ago I saw my younger cousin post some weight-loss pins on Pinterest. As they appeared on my screen it was hard for me to resist the urge to throw my keyboard in the air out of sheer frustration. I was upset by the fact that she thought she needed to become even smaller than the >110 lbs. that she already was.

 As I sat in my chair, stewing, I felt a knot form in my stomach as realized why I was angry with her and the world in general: I saw myself in her thought process.

When I was dieting, I lost about 40 lbs. and went from being a size 12 to a size 2/4 in three months. Even when I had pushed my natural body to it's limit I was never satisfied with myself. I wasn't small enough, the fat on my body was always too much, and I could always manage to lose a few more pounds.

I desperately wanted to look like the thin women I saw around me.
But I realized too late that "skinny" is a lie.

Lately I've been wondering if the need to be thin is an innate characteristic in females or a result of expectations placed above our heads for generations. Why do we feel the need to diet? Do we like the aspect of control that it gives us over our physical selves? Is it a competitive stigma that we feel the desperate need to take part in? Is it Darwinism, a literal translation of survival of the fittest?

Why is it that more women seem to fear gaining weight than death itself?

Any thoughts?

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