Today was another hard day.

This morning I attended Stake Conference and really felt inspired by something a speaker said. It was somewhere along the lines of reading your scriptures and praying daily better protects you from sin or temptation.

I tried it, and my afternoon initially went fairly well. I started to fall apart as I became stressed out about studying for a big test I'm taking in a few days. I had forgotten what I had just barely learned.

I binged big time. I took food from my storage room like peanut butter, jam and cookie mix. I ate them. I feel sick.

I think I can handle tomorrow now though. I know what to look out for. Plus, I'm going to be really busy with work, studying, and helping my brother with his homework.

I know I can do this. I stopped bingeing and having pop for an entire two weeks before falling back into a slump. I think exercising and drawing help me manage my depression, while chewing gum and staying downstairs helps me resist cravings.

I think I'm going to set a time limit on how long I have to chew a piece of gum or stay downstairs. That might help me manage my mealtimes and snacks.

I just wish my family was around more for meals. I think it would help me a lot to have people to eat with and to peer pressure me out of overeating.

I also think that I need to stop holding on to the past. The past three days I've struggled with depression, and bitter feelings towards my mom.

As corny as this must sound, I've been finding inspiration in all sorts of things lately. Tonight, for example, I watched The Lion King on ABC Family. One part really stuck out to me:

Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back means I'll have to face my past. I've been running from it for so long.
[Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick]
Simba: Ow! Jeez, what was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past.
Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.
[swings his stick again at Simba, who ducks out of the way]
Rafiki: Ha. You see? So what are you going to do?

What am I going to do?

Try to follow these wise words, from a wise monkey.

Like Simba said:

I finally got some sense knocked into me. And I've got the bump to prove it.

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